That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
