Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
