the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
