I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
