i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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