he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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