check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
