the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
