She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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