I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Damn victory sex feels great
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize