Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize