haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
