wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize