Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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