Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
