I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
