Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
