covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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