What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
