my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i out mim tonsoeep
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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