i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
