id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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