shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
