btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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