So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Randomize
