It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize