how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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