So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just want nice things and good sex
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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