she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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