i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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