Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
