She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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