dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize