I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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