I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
