Jerry, you need to find god
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
