white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
