So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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