Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Randomize
