like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
