dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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