His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
