Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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