I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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