3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
