i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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