new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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