I bet he comes in French.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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