My liver just broke up with me...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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