Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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