Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
