it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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