I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
