And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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