She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
