loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize