We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
