I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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