2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
