no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
