there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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