This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
