The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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