I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize