So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
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