How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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