Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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