turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
