The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
