She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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