I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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