I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
